Low Self Esteem, Abuse, Rape, Trauma, Bullying, Stress, Pain, Hurt, Fear, Depression, OCD, Genetics, Peer Pressure, Society, Life Changes, Self Loathing and the list goes on...
So all of you out there who fucking say bulimia isn't a problem. You know what. Just fuck off. Why don't you try to live a day in my life and fucking grow a pair. When I die, bulimia will be an issue, but until then, there is no fucking way you'll give two shits.
Stop fucking telling me eating disorders are easy and overcome-able, and just based on weight loss. Fuck you. I'm fucking bulimic because my father hated me because I was fat so he used me to get laid because he couldn't fucking get himself. And because the girl down the street played out her sexual fantasies with me. I'm bulimic because no one fucking gives a fucking crap about me and whether I live or die.
Have you ever had to vomit up everything you eat, even if you know it will take up the last of your energy and slowly destroy you? Doubt it.
Have you ever seen blood in your vomit and not known if you're going to die or not? Doubt it.
Have you ever passed out, had your hair fall out, your nails chip, and innocence fade? Doubt it.
Have you ever stuffed your face till you were bulging, and still eaten more? Doubt it.
Have you ever been such a fat-ass low-life loser, that if your vomit still looks appetizing, and your hunger is uncontrollable, that you stuff it back in your face as an attempt to fix it, make things better, take back the relapse? Doubt it.
Have you ever had to hurt the one you love the most by telling them that you still think about suicide each and every day, and lay out your plans to them? Doubt it.
Have you had to accept that you're dying and have no way to stop it? Doubt it.
I want you to fucking see that this isn't something small. Why don't you fucking get it because maybe if you did, my life would be saved. And then the coward fucking dick you are you go say 'bulimia isn't a problem'. WHY DOES NO ONE HAVE TIME FOR THE ISSUE THAT IS KILLING ME??
Why do I have to fucking suffer in silence, only to be hushed when I speak up because I'm 'just doing it for the attention.' FUCK MY GODDAMN LIFE, NO ONE GETS IT DO THEY???
Now don't you even fucking think of telling me that what I'm going through is easy.
You know what. Fuck you.
Ren
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