Is it just me?
Am I the only one who looks at the thinspiration pictures and sees hip bones, collarbones, flat stomach, thigh gap and knows they would die to get that?
Am I the only one that tears up a little when I see skinny girls and would die to look like them?
Is it just me that sees the thinspo's and would do any work out at all to get that but knows I can because I'm so physically drained from the vicious vomiting cycle of B+P?
Is it just me?
I'm not the only one who eats like a pig despite the fact my stomach is tight, am I?
Is it just me that eats food like there's no tomorrow?
Does anyone else raid the cupboards everyday searching for something to binge?
Am I the only one that shrugs and pretends not to know when everyone asks "where'd the food go"?
Does anyone else feel like screaming when someone comments on their food intake?
Is it just me that vomits at home, school, other peoples houses, restaurants and more?
Does anyone else know that they are slowly dying of an eating disorder but refuse to stop because they're too fat to be bulimic or anorexic?
Am I the only one that bawls to sleep every night as I look at the vomit in my hair, the stench of stomach acid seeing off of me and the scars down my legs and arms?
Is it just me that scratches myself until I bleed to numb the pain?
Am I the only one that admires my blood on shards of glass?
Is it just me that would die if anyone found out about my bulimia or saw my scars?
Is it just me? Am I the only one out here? Am I?
I wish I was.
No one, no one deserves a pain like this.
Except me. Being the fat fat fat gross ugly disgusting piggish stupid whore-bag slutty useless waste of life stupid gross loser ugly fat bitch I am, I deserve it all.
-Ren
No comments:
Post a Comment