Lost count post :Why bulimia is worse than cutting

No one understands how deadly and terrible bulimia really is. Like compared to self-harm, people are all 'oh my gosh, cutting yourself is terrible and a mental illness,you can die from it'. They have no time to even think about bulimia about eating disorders, they don't care. No one understands. WHY DOES NO ONE GET IT???? When I tell anyone I cut and make myself vomit, all they care about is the cutting. They make it out as a major deal. The fact that every so often, it's a little hard to deal, so I bring a shard of glass to my skin. I hurt myself, not anyone else. But why don't they care about bulimia. The whole reason I cut is bulimia. I'm dying. Not from cutting, not from a scratch and a little blood. But from vomiting blood, tearing up my esophougus, constant pain. My throat aches all day, I see blood in my vomit. I hate the very sight of food because I know I have no choice but to vomit it up. There's no other option. I can't stop. I can't help it. I'm lost. I pass out all the time, I'm so weak, so tired, so exhausted, my mind and body aren't up for this. Cuts you can handle. Constant vomiting, you cannot. I want people to understand, that the fact I vomit isn't like a 'oh you're just trying to diet, it'll go away' thing. It's a 'how much time do I have left before the side effects kill me' kind of thing. There is no rate of mortality for self-harm. It's hard to kill yourself with that unless you want to. It's controllable. Bulimia isn't controllable, it's a different voice in my head that hates me that torments me that beats me up that hurts me that wants to kill me. It's a voice that never goes away, that controls my thoughts that makes me hate myself. It makes me want to die. Bulimia never goes away either, there's that nagging voice in the back of your head always saying 'you're not good enough' 'why can't you be skinny like her?' and just comparing me to every girl that is skinnier, prettier, better than me. Bulimia wants me to be thin and will take my life if that's what's it costs....be skinny or die trying. Now I'm not saying cutting isn't a problem, I know it is, but compared to bulimia, it's much smaller, and that's what bother me is no one gets it. I've experienced both. I should know. I wish that people would understand what I'm going through, that people would care, I need someone to get that what I'm feeling isn't utter insanity, but right now I'm all alone..
-Ren