Third Post

Hey,
So soon I guess I'm gonna get more people on here. One day.Which may be a good, or a bad thing.
I just wanna say: Pleaaaaaase don't become bulimic because of what you read here or any other thinspo site for that matter...it would kill me. More than anything else kills me. So please....I beg you do not vomit, well at least not intentionally we all make mistakes. Don't starve either. Or cut. Or be sad. Just...be happy okay. This blog does NOT support the pro-mia or pro-ana lifestyle. If I have not made that clear enough, than please leave my blog asap.
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Some random facts about me that I gotta get out there:
I use the back of my toothbrush, because my gag-reflex is beginning to leave. And I feel like I can go farther down to trigger it using a toothbrush. I've been bulimic since the month I turned 12. That's.....1 year and 6 months. I'm afraid I'll never be able to stop. I can't control myself around food. I vomit about 5 times a day I'd say on average. I vomit even if I tell myself not to, there is that little voice in my head that's uncontrollably prevalent. The best I've been off was 6 days....which I'm proud as hell of. I vomit blood sometimes, and pass out. I. hate. bulimia. - almost as much as I hate myself. I'm fat and ugly and stupid and gross and unworthy and a slut and gross gross gross. No one loves me. The first time I cut I scratched myself until it bled then kept scratching that wound until I couldn't take it...then repeated that many many times. I also cut with a glass shard when I want a clean line and more blood. I cut on an average 5 times a day for a while. I have two rectangular patches (maybe 2 inch by 1inch) on my upper thighs that are completely cut and scarred over numerous times. I also have a scar on my arm and two on my right hip-bone. I get bad flashbacks and nightmares. I hope that if I know you, you're not reading this btw...it probably means I died.[edited: well I guess you're reading this anyway....sorry if it's tmi, but you asked for it]
-Ren